Monday, August 28, 2006

One Day at a time......

It's a song that is quiet appropriate in this situation. Most days are better than others, today I had a rough day. Kolton is anemic, his anemia is very likely causing his eating issues that he has been having. The treatment for this is a blood transfusion, which is very normal for preemies, this will actually make his second one. I do not wish this situation on anyone, I am very grateful that my babies have done so well, however when you hear one of them cry a heartbreaking cry because they are getting stuck over and over again because no one can get the IV in is more than I could bare.

This has been the most happiest, saddest, overwhelming, 3 months of my life. I never wanted to know what complete bed rest was, or what it was like to go into pre-term labor, or what a mediflight or ambulance ride was like. I never wanted to experience a labor that went so fast that I then received a natural and c-section birth. I didn't want to know what went on at Childrens hospital in Team 1, Team 2, or "The Village". Not knowing what a bradycardia or apnea or desat was would be fine as well. Sitting in a dark rooms watching monitors and listening to alarms has been our life for over a month, each step closer to going home is scary but one you look forward to. I hope to never experience anything like this again, but I would do it all over again for those two little boys.

4 comments:

BelleLaDonna said...

Aww..that was sad to read. I agree I hope to never experience that...however your boys are SO CUTE! I am keeping you all in my prayers in hopes that they get healthier and come home very soon!!

Nana Judy said...

How awesome a gift God has blessed you two with. He could not have picked a better couple for these two bundles of joy. I can't hardly wait til the day they start putting their little arms around your necks and look at you with the love that is a reflection of the love you have for them. It is so obvious in the way you look at them and lovingly and tenderly care for their every need. Brandy they will not remember all this bad medical stuff. They just know they have a mommy and daddy that is there for them at all times. How sweet it is to see love grow as God intended. I'am proud of you two. I love you all [4]Don't that sound cool.

Sherri said...

Brandy, you write very well and very poignantly. We went through the needle thing with Rylee one time and I thought that my heart would collapse. It works out great. You have 2 fine and soon to be healthy little brats that I'm going to slap around just for fun. Hang in there. Mom's on her way.....Dad

Sherri said...

To Brandy, From MOM

I SEE

A new day dawns, the setting sun grows dark
mother and her babies, link heart to heart
maturity I see, growing in your eyes
seasoned with heartache, patience and time.

Three separate hearts, beating now as one
ancient understanding, surround the cycle of life
a mother’s love goes round, circling back to rest
upon the precious spirits, of those she loves best.

If I have one word, that might be passed along
one piece of advice, that might prevent some wrong
it would be to cherish, each and every instance
in the life of those you love, give without condition.

For time sails by on gossamer wings, never looking back
disintegrates into what was, aptly named the past
so keep the seconds close at hand, clasped within your mind
memories live within the heart, they never need to die.

From one mother to another, I pass this ancient torch
keep the flames fanned, communication open
love the little things they do, dirty hands and all
but most of all teach God to them, fortitude and honor.