Monday, March 30, 2009

10 weeks

Disclaimer: My husband informs me guys might be grossed out by some of the info here. Sorry, I'm warning you now it might be TMI for some, I'm just keeping it real.

Today I'm supposed to be 10 weeks pregnant, but instead I'm 6 weeks for the 4th week in a row. How is that possible?

I have a love/hate relationship with 10 weeks. At 10 weeks on February 28th 2006 I found out I was having twins. On July 17, 2006 10 weeks early I had the boys.

And now at 10 weeks pregnant I'm only measuring 6 weeks no growth in the baby, but surprisingly there still is a heartbeat, beating faster at 71bpm, but still slower than normal. I have had increased spotting this past week with small clotting. I didn't know what to expect when I walked into the ultrasound room today. With the no growth and heartbeat the tech did see some bleeding around the sac and the sac it's self appeared to be deteriorating some. Of course I will have to wait to here from my doctor today or tomorrow, but I figure the plan is to keep on waiting.

With that said since the scan I have had a lot of bleeding and bigger clotting and cramping so this might be it. I miscarry at 10 weeks.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Twin Day at Chick-Fil-A

Today we went to the mall to get out of the house and get the boys some new shoes.

Both boys feet have gone up a size in 3 months or so.

Anyway, we stopped at Chick-Fil-A to eat as we sat down to eat I notice a set of twin boys about 16 or 17 with their mom. A few seconds later a set of 2 year old girl twins showed up. It was then that I said it must be twin day at Chick-Fil-A. The mother of the twin boys said she noticed that as well. We shared our sentiments at having baby twins and a couple of laughs. I have to say I have never been in that situation before where there was more than one set of twins in the same area at the same time. The mall was not busy today so that made it all the more un-usual.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Karter Update #3

We are home. Karter and Kolton are both in bed and Jimmy and I are going to crash in front of the TV for awhile.

He seems to be completely back to his old self.

I'll write a more in depth post tomorrow.

I did want to say I met Gavin's Mom today while at the hospital she was surrounded by lots of supportive family and her husband. Gavin was having a procedure done today by the same doctor right after Karter. It's a small world. Send your thoughts and prayers Gavins way as his procedure was longer than Karter's and from what I gather will be staying overnight.

Karter Update #2

Karter is recovering nicely. He is asking for juice and food and talking and interacting a lot now.

Possibly going home tonight.

So glad this is over.

Karter Update #1

I'm sitting in the waiting room now. We've gotten a call from the nurse saying Karter is doing fine and they are expected to be done by 1:30 or so.

I wasn't allowed to go in while they sedated him as I am pregnant. I had to watch from the door, Karter didn't want to put the watermelon smelling mask on and cried, but didn't have any major meltdown.

We may or may not need to stay the night, but I'll update more as I know more.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Karter's Procedure Tomorrow.

Tomorrow we have to be at the hospital at 9:00 and his procedure is scheduled for 11:00. I'm getting a little nervous. I don't think anything is going to happen but the thoughts keep creeping in my mind. Thoughts like what if this is the last time we eat out together or what if this was the last time I tuck him into bed. I'm trying not to let these thoughts creep in but I suppose they are normal to some extent, especially for a parent who's kid is going under anesthesia tomorrow.

As I type this Jimmy is searching PDA ligation's and Occluders for the umpteenth time. Of course we research everything to death, thankfully Jimmy has not found a bad case yet.

I'm taking my laptop to the hospital tomorrow and if they have good internet there I'll try to do updates as I can.

Good thoughts and prayers are welcome.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Pep Talk From My Doctor

I met with my doctor today. He pretty much gave me a pep talk and told me that there is still hope. Not that I won't still miscarry but that there is still hope that things could turn out ok.

I have to admit I pretty much had no hope and I only now have reserved hope.

This is such a busy month, but this week has been so busy it's not even funny. So many things that are emotionally draining.

Anyway, we are just waiting and seeing. I have another ultrasound scheduled for Monday. We well see what's going on then.

I wanted to say thank you to all of you who have been praying and sending words of encouragement it's greatly appreciated. Thank You.

Monday, March 23, 2009

People, It Just Gets Worse

Today I had an ultrasound appointment just to confirm what was going on. Or at least that's what we thought was going to happen.

As Jimmy and I entered the ultrasound room I told the girl why we were there. I told her we were there to confirm that we were in fact having a miscarriage and that we did not expect to see any growth and no heart beat. That is not what we saw.

What we saw was that the baby had grown by a week, but it still is 3 weeks behind according to my LMP and about a week behind their estimation about two weeks ago. We also saw that it now has a heart beat, however this was not encouraging at all. A normal fetal heart beat is 140-160bpm, this was only 50-60bpm. We were all surprised and all baffled not what we expected at all. I see my OB tomorrow to go over all of this.

From what I've read on the Internet in almost all cases with everything that is going on there is still a miscarriage that happens, while I wish it were all good and well I had come to terms with that. Now this.

I only see this going 3 ways. I will still miscarry as there seems to be something wrong with the baby it's only measuring at 6 weeks and who know what kind of horrible decisions I might be faced with. There will be nothing wrong with the baby, this is all some kind of weird glitch and it will all be fine, or I will carry the baby to a certain point or deliver it and it will die, or I will have a disabled child.

Don't misunderstand I would love any child I have. I would care for them and get them only the best, but lets be real here no one really wants to be faced with this. We all want happy, healthy, full term babies.

Life sucks sometimes, ya know.

Friday, March 20, 2009

The Luck of The Irish

Well obviously it's not with us this month. This month there is so much going on and not much of it is good, but we'll make it through. The one positive thing is that we have a contract, FINALLY, on our old house. Hopefully it goes through.

Something cute did happen on the 17th that I didn't know about until later that day. We had spent sometime outside that evening and Jimmy had spent about an hour looking for a four leaf clover. He finally found one! I was outside but I wasn't close enough to hear what was going on and I think I was reading a book. Anyway, the boys asked Jimmy what he was doing and he told them looking for four leaf clovers. They wanted to help so Jimmy said he began to pull clovers(3 leaf) and told the boys to kiss them and when the wind blew them away they were going to go to people who needed kisses. How cute and sweet!

My boys, all of them, Jimmy, Kolton and Karter are sweet and cute.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

HCG Level Update

Well my levels didn't lower or rise they stayed the same. This indicates a non-viable pregnancy. I kinda knew this was were it was headed. From the second the ultrasound showed two weeks behind I felt something was wrong.

Anyway I have a doctors appointment on Tuesday to discuss what's next if I don't pass it on my own.

I didn't want to be a member of the miscarriage club, it sucks.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

An Almost ER Visit

The boys have been WILD lately I tell ya. Kolton has been saying "I don't want to" a lot. He says it about nap time and sometimes bed time depending on if he napped or not. He says it if you tell him to do something or get something. If he is bugging Karter by taking his toy or just bugging him in general when asked to stop he will say "I don't want to." If you tell him to come here he will say "come get me."

Karter has been cranky and whining lately. If he's playing with something and it falls apart or gets stuck or does something he doesn't want it to do he will run to us and spaz out wanting us to fix it before he event tries himself. When you encourage him to fix it himself he breaks out in a fit of "no, mama do it" with tears and tensing of his body. Other times he fixes it himself with no issues.

So that brings me to the almost ER visit.

There were some bricks in the backyard that we had used to make a little ramp for the boys to ride there fourwheelers over. We had moved the bricks to the porch area. Karter got the big idea to get the brick and play with it. Jimmy told Karter to put the brick down, so he threw the brick down, which broke in half. Kolton then ran over and picked it up and tried to throw it. Jimmy told him to put it down before someone got hurt. Karter ran over there to try to boss and Kolton threw the brick and hit Karter in the head with it.

Thankfully it just grazed Karter's head leaving a little nick, that might have needed a stitch. It wasn't that deep and didn't bleed that bad. Karter cried a little. I tell you I believe that being in the NICU has given him a higher pain tolerance than most kids. I also have a high pain tolerance, but he didn't cry much at all.

I brought him in the house. Cleaned the wound, assessed the damage and decided that a butterfly band aid and some antibiotic ointment would be ok. The cut looks good and seems to be healing ok so far. Of course I will keep an eye on it but I think we are just fine.

It looks like it's on his temple in this picture but it's not is on the side of his forehead.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Pregnancy Update

So, there have been some issues going on lately. Thursday I had and ultrasound to determine if there was one or two. It was determined that there is just one, but my dates and their dates were different. Two weeks difference and we were unable to hear a heartbeat or see the baby because it was putting me at 5 1/2 weeks. We did see a gestational sac and a yolk sac.

So, that night and the next day I had a little bit of dark bleeding or old blood, however that can happen with the type of ultrasound I had. I wasn't too concerned. The next day I had a little more pinker spotting but it went away. Flash to Monday night I had more spotting that day but nothing bad, that night before I went to bed I had bright red blood. I called the OB floor at the hospital. She said drink lots of water, take it easy, come in if it gets heavy and call my OB the next day.

The spotting with the bright red blood only happened that one time. Anyway today I went in for and HCG blood test and an exam. My cervix is closed so that's good but my HCG count was not as high as the doctor would have liked it to be. The plan is I will go in on Thursday to do another HCG bloodtest to see if my numbers are rising. If they are rising that is good and my OB will set up another ultrasound to hopefully see cardiac activity in the baby. If my levels have gone down than more than likely I am having a miscarriage but I'm sure he will also do an ultrasound to see if there is any changes from my previous ultrasound.

There is still hope. I worked in my OB's office when I got pregnant with the boys. I'm well aware of were this could lead and also aware that it could be nothing, many women bleed in pregnancy and sometimes HCG levels can be lower but the pregnancy be fine.

Right now I'm trying not to worry about it too much. There is not much I can do if I'm going to miscarry. I hope that does not happen but if it does I'll deal with it then. Hopefully everything is fine and this will be the only glitch I have in this pregnancy.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Ultrasound Results

Ok, so drum roll please! There is only one baby in there. It is however measuring a week and a half behind, but a sac and yolk sac were both present. The tech said she didn't see any need for concern right now, that my dates were probably just off but that the doctor would rescan in two weeks or so. By that time we should be able to see a heart beat. So there you are. I'm so thankful, but wanted to hear a heartbeat to ease my worries.

It seems for now that all is well.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

7 weeks 1 day

Today I'm 7 weeks 1 day pregnant. So far I've not had many symptoms. No morning sickness, not really any nausea, mild tiredness, some things are sore and I can feel my insides stretching.

I have an ultrasound scheduled for Thursday at 2:00p, to find out if there is one or two. I'm praying for one. Not that I wouldn't love two, but uh, I just want one.

I'm pretty nervous about that part.

The boys are doing great. We've been spending a lot of time outside. They have been riding their four wheelers everywhere. Kolton has out of now where began to ask for a baby sister. He asks just about everyday. I tell him we are working on it, that it has to grow in mommies tummy. He seems satisfied with that.

Friday, March 06, 2009

Four Wheeling

Jimmy has been dying to get the boys some ride on toys. We've filed our taxes and are getting some back so we decided to get them some.

We hid them in the backyard and when the boys woke up from their nap we took them outside.

They were so excited it took them only minuets to figure them out and we stayed outside for 3 hours watching them drive them around.

Look how big they are getting. My little boys are no longer babies.

On a side note the weather is getting much nicer, I am not a fan of winter and it will be fine with me when it goes away.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

I'm THAT Pregnant woman.

Today I got up off the bed in my bedroom where I had been trying to catch up on all the DVR'd stuff I got behind on due to reading A LOT last week. I got up because I noticed that Karter has smashed a junior mint into my sheets while I had been up a few seconds before to answer the door when a package arrived. I went into the bathroom to get a rag to clean up the mess and the water wouldn't come on.

Crap, I called the water company seeing if there was a scheduled turn off for some reason. She responds with yes, there was. You have a returned check and we placed a notice on your door last week.


I have to add that I've been having a really bad week. I just lost it with the lady. I don't normally cry when I speak to public works people. I don't normally cry at all but I started bawling. I've worked with the public before I've been the lady on the phone while someone else is bawling.

What had happened is we are trying to close our account in our old town and move everything to our new account. One day last month something went through our old account on autopay and caused several things to bounce. We thought it was taken care of, we paid the water bill yesterday and the lady said she had it there on her desk but couldn't accept it until the overdue balance was paid in cash.

Poor lady. I told her I knew it wasn't her fault and we had never received a notice on the door as she said we did.

I'm kinda embarrassed because I knew it was stupid that I was crying and when I walked in that water office door, they KNEW who I was. When I gave the lady my name she said "oh". Of course she did, everyone always talks about the crazy crying lady. Sheesh. I was the highlight of their day! Crazy lady on line 2.

I said oh she told you about the crying lady to the women behind the desk. She tried to play if off, but whatever. I just apologized and she said it's ok it's was a mistake it could happen to anyone one. You know the ole canned sympathy response.

It's taken care of our water is back on. Hopefully the ladies at the water department will forget my name and face but I doubt it. I never did when I worked with the public I always remembered the crazies.