Do I still Have My Eyes?

That's what I'm wondering after reading 2,444 pages or 4 books in 7 days. I have to say I did enjoy the break from laundry and reading blogs for those 7 days. It's time to step out of Bella and Edward land.

The books were very good. It took me awhile to decide if I wanted to read them or not, I'm glad I did.

And to answer my sister's questions. Yes Keelan, I have the fourth book and you are welcome to read it. See my sisters' have a plan, they only have to wait long enough for me to buy the books and read them at break speed and then they get to read them without paying for them. This is how they read almost all the Harry Potter books. It's ok buy me. I think good books should be shared.

Songs

While riding in the car last night there was a good song on the radio. I turned it up a bit and began to sing. At first Karter said "it's too loud, turn it down." He generally says this if anything other than the Mickey Mouse CD is playing. I just continued to sing and then from the backseat Kolton begins to sing in a loud voice his new song. "I want my binkie always, I want my binkie alwaaaays" he sang this over and over each time getting louder and dragging out the word always. It was cracking us up. Then Karter started in with his version. "I want my B always, I want my B always."

They sang that for about 10 mins. Such creative little boys I have. I hope they both inherit the ability to sing. I love to sing and it reminds me we need to listen to more music around the house and not just in the car.

Hmm, I need to get and Ipod docking station. So I don't have to mess with CD's around here.

Pardon Me

I sorry for my absence lately. I've been spending an awful lot of my evening and nap time with Bella and the Cullens. Actually I've read two book in about 4 days. I just love me some good fiction books. I've finished the second book now and am not picking up the third until all my laundry is done-maybe.

PDA Update

Karter's procedure is scheduled for March 26th at 10:00 am. It's highly likely that he will stay overnight as his procedure is scheduled for the late morning. I think my mom is going to be able to come over and stay with Kolton as it was planned before on our first try.

Believe it or not Karter's PDA went MIA again. Last week at our pediatrician's office it was undetectable by stethoscope again. Dr. C listened several times and didn't hear it. When I got home and listened I didn't hear it either. Weird. Regardless whether it's heard on the the day of the procedure or not Karter will still have a heart cath and then depending on what they find it will be fixed.

This time around, while I still wish we didn't have to deal with this, I'm ok with having it done. It's a pretty safe procedure and I'll be glad when it's over.

Now for some pictures.

Last week the boys decided to feed each other. They didn't like what I fixed for dinner so they wanted one of their frozen kids meals. They pretty much did this the whole meal. It was so cute. Zeeo wanted in on it too.

Little geniuses ???

I give my two boys a lot of leeway to see, touch, and learn things. A little more than mommy would like for me to sometimes, but I do it anyway.

In the last couple of days, Karter managed to take a screw driver to his toy computer and actually get the back off of it! Then, last night he wouldn't stay in bed so I bribed him by telling him that if he would stay in bed I would take him to shawnee with me when I went the next day. He knows that I leave a mower over there for mowing in the summer time. I told him we would go to shawnee after he woke up the next day and he could play with the mower (not turned on of course). He then told me "Need Gas", he remembered a few weeks ago when I told him that we couldn't start it because it was out of gas! Brilliant!

Today I took Karter and Kolton (and Brandy) with me when I went to do some work at our house in shawnee, I was replacing wall plates on some of the electrical outlets when Kolton insisted that I give him one and a screw driver. He promptly stuck the plate on the wall and used the screw driver to screw it in. A flat head screw none the less. Since I don't have any other children (yet ;>), I have nothing to compare to, but to me these guys seem unusually intelligent.

Flower Time a Thank You and a Worry

Thank you all for the congratulations. I would be lying if I didn't say I'm a bit freaked out by the possibility of twins again. My first appointment is Thursday with the Nurse Practitioner who will do all the blood work and ask a billion and one questions. Then I'm going to beg for an ultrasound to see if there is only one in there. The receptionist said that they would probably make me wait until my first appointment with the doctor which would be when I'm about 9 0r 10 weeks along. I found I had twins with the boys when I was 10 weeks along. Anyway I have several things I want to talk with the doctor about as it is my goal to carry this baby to full term.

For Valentines day Jimmy got me some flowers, and a card. Inside the card read "love Jimmy, Kolton, Karter & Someone else." I thought that was cute. It was pretty much 3 years ago that he was writing something similar into a card. We had no idea at that point we were having twins. My how life changes huh.

Uh. Oh My!

A suprise for you and me.

The Many Faces of Kolton

We've been busy around here. The boys have kind of been sick, with runny noses and coughing. We have also been having our old house painted all this is taking up my energy I usually use for blogging. Hopefully soon I'll have more things to say and more pictures to post.

The Many Faces of Karter

Thank you for your kind thoughts and words. Things are fine with Kart-Man as we call him sometimes. He has been a little sick for the past day or so, but seems to be getting better quickly.

The Post I Didn't Really Want to Write.

Hmm... I'm not really sure how or what I want to say. I do want to be honest though. Let's start with Karter was NOT healed by God. No matter how bad that sounds and how much I wish it were true, recent findings have proven otherwise.

Let me start from the beginning. Shortly after we and the doctor for that matter thought Karter's PDA was healed, I heard the murmur again. I say I heard it because I have a stethoscope that the boys play with sometimes and they were listening to my heart and each others. When they asked me to listen to theirs I did and I thought I heard the same murmur in Karter's heart, but I dismissed it thinking I didn't because how could I, God had healed him. However, being that I believe that it is my and Jimmy's responsibility to make sure our kids are safe and healthy I had to have it checked out.

This was in early November. The boys had a flu shot scheduled for a few days after I had heard the murmur and so I asked our Pediatrician to take a listen. He had just assumed we had had the procedure done, but when I explained that it had not been done and I was trying to have Faith and speak what I wanted. I told him that he had been healed, and then he heard the murmur. I felt kinda stupid. And a little mad at God, ok who am I kidding I felt a lot mad at God. I called Jimmy and told him the devastating news. We asked the doctor to schedule us another appointment to have another echo cardiogram.

The appointment was made for January 29. Over the two months or so I would periodically listen and I always heard the murmur. My mind was reeling how could this be? How could God give something and then take it back. That was not the God I knew. Was this an attack from Satan? Our pastor seemed to think so. So I desperately clung on to that thinking that it was just an attack, that his PDA was healed and the echo would prove to me that God in fact had healed Karter. However as time went by I began to come to the realization that this was probably not so. All evidence pointed to the PDA being there, but I hung on until about 2 weeks before his Echo appointment and then I just gave up basically. I gave up the fact that God had healed Karter in fact I have pretty much given up the idea that you only have to ask and you will receive. This has not been true for me or others in my family for that fact. I had more faith than a grain of mustard seed. We had done as God had instructed us to do in James 5:14. The Bible says that the are all ours to have, however we were unable to obtain it.

I have to be honest that this greatly discouraged me. The echo as Jimmy and I suspected showed the PDA in all it's glory. The doctor stated that he and his colleagues do not really know what happened. That according to his ear and the echo on October 16, the day of his procedure, the PDA was closed. He couldn't explain what happened, but thinks, as we do that Karter needs to have the PDA ligation. So Karter will be having a procedure to close his PDA sometime soon. The heart doctors will be getting back to us with that time and date.

I so didn't want to come back to you all after we had told everyone about God's healing hand and say that oops, God didn't heal our son. While I do believe that there are healing sometimes, I'm not sure they work as the bible says. I know that may worry my friends and family, don't worry I still believe in God. I still love God. I have a lot of thinking to do about this. I have a lot of questions that I need to find answers too.

I don't like that I've been confronted with this, that it has given me many questions to which I don't have answers. I feel a little silly for having said he was healed and if fact he was not. However, I felt it very important to be real about this to put it all out there. Don't think for a second that the thought didn't cross my mind to not write about any of it. To just let everyone think he had been healed and he is fine. I don't want to feel fake so this is our truth.

We have come to term with the PDA and the procedure. We have done our research on both and feel confident in what has to be done.